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If you have come out of a relationship involving domestic abuse, you will have the challenging task of needing to make arrangements with your ex at a time when you are also trying to separate from them emotionally and physically.  This is understandably a distressing and daunting challenge and one where appropriate boundaries and safeguards will be of utmost importance.

Many people will assume that the presence of domestic abuse in a relationship will render mediation unsuitable but we would like to reassure you that this is not always the case.  We have put together some things to think about before you rule out the mediation option altogether:

• A mediator is trained to screen for domestic abuse and take the presence of domestic abuse into account at all stages of the mediation process. Your Mediator will understand the different guises of domestic abuse and you will be able to discuss your circumstances in confidence at the initial Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM).  This is a chance for you to discuss any concerns that you might have with your mediator and a chance for your Mediator to help you decide whether mediation would be suitable in your case.
• Mediation can help you establish some ground rules and boundaries that regulate your parental relationship with your ex-partner. This enables you to manage the arrangements in a way that ensures the physical and emotional safety of you and your children moving forward.
• You do not have to mediate face to face in the same room as each other. Your mediator can offer Shuttle Mediation where you are both in separate rooms so that you do not have to directly see or hear each other.
• Another alternative option is online mediation sessions via Zoom, either as a group call or as separate calls without the other person on the screen with you at all. This means you can mediate from the safety of your own home where you can feel more at ease and less intimidated.
• If you are not sure whether mediation is suitable, a chat with a mediator at a MIAM appointment will help you understand your options and formulate a plan of action moving forward.

Contact us

For further advice please contact one of our Family Law experts.

This article is for general information only and does not constitute legal or professional advice. Please note that the law may have changed since this article was published.