News & Insights

December brings for children the excitement and anticipation of Christmas. But for separated parents it can bring additional stress and potential conflict over which of them will have the children on Christmas Day.

Here are Laceys top tips that should help parents manage and co-parent this issue successfully for the sake of their children.

1. PLAN AHEAD

Agreeing arrangements for Christmas last minute is a common source of disagreement. Planning ahead so that parents and children know what is happening each year will avoid upset and disappointment all round.

2. DISCUSS OPTIONS

Be creative when splitting the time with your children over Christmas. For example-

OPTION 1 – Three Christmas Days

The children are with one parent on Christmas Eve through to early afternoon Christmas Day. The children then spend the rest of Christmas Day and Boxing Day with the other parent.

Option 2 – One Week Each

Children are on school holiday for two weeks over Christmas, so their parents could agree that the children will spend the first week with one parent and the second week with the other parents. This might be a sensible solution if parents want to go away over the Christmas period and this split of the holidays allows the children to spend Christmas with one parent and New Year with the other.

Option 3 – Two Christmases

This is where a day is nominated, before or after Christmas Day and is used by one of the parents to have their own special Christmas celebration. This could be on Boxing Day or on any other day around the festive period.

3. LISTEN TO YOUR CHILDREN

The wishes of your children should be considered. Don’t ask them to make the choice as that is putting too much pressure on them, but you can seek their views and then say you will discuss it with mum or dad. Remember that children can feel sad if they do not spend any time with one parent over this special period.

Create a new Christmas tradition with your children rather than focussing on what Christmas used to be like.

Successful co-parenting needs compromise, good communication and the focus of discussions should always be child-focussed. Always present a united front to your children

4. IF YOU CAN’T AGREE

Mediation provides a safe space to discuss the problems with a skilled lawyer mediator and resolve matters in a non-confrontational way.

As a last resort an application can be made to the court for a Specific Issue Order to determine the Christmas arrangements.

For further advice on mediation please contact one of our Family Mediation experts today.

This article is for general information only and does not constitute legal or professional advice. Please note that the law may have changed since this article was published.