Effective Tips to Resolve Christmas Arrangements for Separated Parents
5th December 2023 by Kenneth Clarke
December brings for children the excitement and anticipation of Christmas. But for separated parents it can bring additional stress and potential conflict over which of them will have the children on Christmas Day.
Here are Laceys top tips that should help parents manage and co-parent this issue successfully for the sake of their children.
- PLAN AHEAD
Agreeing arrangements for Christmas last minute is a common source of disagreement. Planning ahead so that parents and children know what is happening each year will avoid upset and disappointment all round.
- DISCUSS OPTIONS
Be creative when splitting the time with your children over Christmas. For example-
OPTION 1 – Three Christmas Days
The children are with one parent on Christmas Eve through to early afternoon Christmas Day. The children then spend the rest of Christmas Day and Boxing Day with the other parent.
Option 2 – One Week Each
Children are on school holiday for two weeks over Christmas, so their parents could agree that the children will spend the first week with one parent and the second week with the other parents. This might be a sensible solution if parents want to go away over the Christmas period and this split of the holidays allows the children to spend Christmas with one parent and New Year with the other.
Option 3 – Two Christmases
This is where a day is nominated, before or after Christmas Day and is used by one of the parents to have their own special Christmas celebration. This could be on Boxing Day or on any other day around the festive period.
- LISTEN TO YOUR CHILDREN
The wishes of your children should be considered. Don’t ask them to make the choice as that is putting too much pressure on them, but you can seek their views and then say you will discuss it with mum or dad. Remember that children can feel sad if they do not spend any time with one parent over this special period.
Create a new Christmas tradition with your children rather than focussing on what Christmas used to be like.
Successful co-parenting needs compromise, good communication and the focus of discussions should always be child-focussed. Always present a united front to your children
- IF YOU CAN’T AGREE
Mediation provides a safe space to discuss the problems with a skilled lawyer mediator and resolve matters in a non-confrontational way.
As a last resort an application can be made to the court for a Specific Issue Order to determine the Christmas arrangements.
For further advice on mediation please contact us in confidence on 01202 377993 or mediationinfo@laceyssolicitors.co.uk and we will be happy to help.
Kenneth Clarke
Senior Associate — Family Mediation
Direct dial: 01202 377993
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“Came to Laceys Mediation after my previous solicitor wasn’t living up to expectations. Laceys Mediation was the best decision I ever made, Kenneth Clarke is some awesome mediator, he was so patient and his knowledge was very helpful. Thank you all for your support.”
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“I was very happy with the sensitive way the issues around my divorce was handled by Kenneth Clarke. I was also more than satisfied with the way my daughter, Nina, was spoken to and helped her voice to be heard in the decision making process.”
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“What could have potentially been an extremely upsetting and inflammatory scenario, proved to be a surprisingly smooth and conflict free process through Laceys Mediation. With Kenneth’s extensive experience we were able to reach an agreeable outcome without spending our life savings!”
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“Kenneth went that extra mile to explain and reiterate it to other party. outstanding and so very professional.”
Kenneth is the elder statesman of our mediation team, with forty years’ experience as a family lawyer, and qualified as a mediator in 1996. Kenneth has been a key member of the Laceys mediation team since 2005, specialising in financial and children cases, with a particular interest and specialisation in high conflict cases.
Kenneth is also qualified to consult with children, a growing part of the mediation process. Always looking to expand the boundaries of mediation practice, Kenneth brings a degree of gravitas, humour, understanding and empathy when he mediates with clients, creating a positive environment in which clients work together to resolve their issues quickly and cost-effectively.
Out of office hours, Kenneth’s main passion is writing musical theatre. When he has time Kenneth also enjoys travel, especially cruising.
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